Indie Music

It's late, and I should be sleeping. But something has been bothering me lately. Indie music. Well, not really Indie music, but the annoying hipsters who think they're cool because they listen to Indie rock. Here's how a typical conversation goes:

Pretentious Hipster: So what kind of music do you enjoy?
Me: I really like Kelly Clarkson and Jack White.
Pretentious Hipster: Oh really...that's funny. I thought the last Dead Weather album was so boring. Have you ever heard of The Pigeon Detectives or Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros?
Me: No. I don't have a lot of time to explore new music. And when I do, I usually get bored with it.
Pretentious Hipster: Oh, you just need to be baptized into the world of independent music. Let me tell you, you haven't lived until you've been to a Lemon Demon concert.
Me: I'm really not interested. But thanks.
Pretentious Hipster: No really, you should give them a listen. You won't believe what you've been missing. The corporate world has you brainwashed into thinking what you're listening to is music, but it's not. I'm so much better than you.
Me: ...(facepalm)

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, f*ck off. Go back to starbucks and leave me the hell alone. I'm not interested in your stupid hippy playlist. Oh, and unless you're Allen, don't try lecturing me on rap music. I was listening to authentic rap music (N.W.A., Erik B and Rakim, KRS-One) when I was nine years old. Not this homogenized garbage that passes for rap nowadays.

Ahhh...it felt good to get that off my chest.


Kristin said...

this made me laugh. and it's pretty hard to get me to even crack a smile this early in the morning....

Allen said...

Favorite part : "Unless you're Allen."

I will continue to lecture you and try to introduce you to things you may actually enjoy, not because it's "indie" but because it's good.

Also Lemon Demon sucks balls.

Jenny said...

Love you. Love this. And if you were a true hipster you wouldn't be at Starbucks, but rather some non-corporate coffee shop on the ave.

Oooo read stuffwhitepeoplelike blog.
Find the one about music.