Colossus

A long time ago, in a twitterverse far away, I tweeted that, "Chuck Norris once had a staring contest with a statue and won." A friend then asked me, "Which statue?" I needed something smart and/or witty to say, so I replied with, "The Colossus of Rhodes." Chuck Norris staring down a statue is funny, but Chuck Norris staring one of the seven wonders of the world into crumbling from fear is just a whopper of a punchline.

Yesterday, a quiz show, I think it was Jeopardy or Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader, asked a question about one of the seven wonders of the world, and it showed this picture:

I said, "Oh, that's the Colossus of Rhodes." I felt like a freakin' genius for the first time in my life.


And here's a picture of Dusty Rhodes, just because I think he's kind of funny looking.

Lines

"I hate the supermarket. I always wind up in the 2000 items or less aisle, behind some ugly lady in a mumu and curlers. And when everything is totalled up, then they go for the checkbook like it never occured to them that they have to pay. And then they always turn around and ask me, "What's the date?" like it matters to me. All they gotta do is look at the date on their milk and add one." -Al Bundy

I had a similar experience tonight, although I think maybe the cashier was to blame. I'm too lazy to tell you what happened.

Crocs

You may know this about me, and maybe you don't. I really hate crocs.

No, not these crocs:

I mean these crocs:

One of my roommates wears them and I cringe whenever I see them. My boss used to wear a purple pair and it would take every ounce of my will power to not poke fun at him, both for the crocs and the hideous color he chose. And he wore them with socks, which I think is worse than wearing sandles with socks.

While doing research for this blog, I read that crocs are made of some type of polyurethane that resists odor. I have something similar, it's called soap. When I apply this soap to my feet, it kills the odor, and i can go on wearing normal shoes.

That is all.

Godzilla

Godzilla is badass.

How do you improve on a monster that is like a Tyrannosaurus Rex, except 50 meters tall and breathes fire?

Mechagodzilla!

I just wanted to get that out there.